


Fire and Ice

by EnglishPoet18



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-08
Updated: 2015-01-08
Packaged: 2018-03-06 17:01:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3141995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnglishPoet18/pseuds/EnglishPoet18
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even from this distance I could feel him staring at me, his eyes searing my very soul. I didn't have to look up to know that it was him. God, I hated him... Merle/OC/AU/Rated M</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fire and Ice

...

I swallowed down the amber liquid that coated the bottom of the glass enjoying the burn as it flowed through my veins. I need courage, some semblance of control in this fucked up situation that was my life.

He was _here_. Fucking _here_.

And I could feel him, his stare burning into me as he swallowed his own poison, both of us trying to get control but failing miserably. I hated him and everything he stood for, but especially I hated the way that he made me feel. _Alive._

It was stupid because I knew that he hated me too. It was more than evident by the way he always scowled at me or went out of his way to avoid me. The times that he couldn't avoid me, his words were cutting and painful...more than I could handle.

The worst part about it was that we used to be best friends. Five years ago had anyone asked me who my best friend in the whole world was I would have said Merle Dixon without a doubt. Growing up on the same street had afforded me easy access between his house and mine. Even now I could remember making the short walk to his place, tagging along behind him and his brother for whatever scheme they had managed to cook up for the day. Until one day that had all changed.

It was the summer that my parents had been killed, drunken crash of twisted metal that had ended both of their lives in one night. I had been taken to a foster home across town, scared and confused. I had needed him then, but he had started missing school, his absence lasting for almost two weeks before he had shown back up. He wouldn't talk to me, wouldn't even look at me and I didn't understand why. Somehow things had shifted between us even though I never learned the reason. I tried multiple times to talk to him, but each time he shut me down with a look or words so cold I felt the chill freeze my bloodstream.

I grew angry with him, my anger slowly turning into a burning hate that threatened to burn me alive. Without him in my life I had no one. I was alone...the best friend I had ever known was gone along with my parents and my whole world had shifted overnight it seemed. I withdrew into myself, fifteen years old and without a care in the world. I was numb and I needed him, but I had rather have bitten off my tongue than admit it to anyone, _especially_ him.

But here we were, somehow ending up at the same party, drinking the same old shit as we tried to chase away our demons. Or at least in my case it was demons. I didn't know what his excuse was, not that he would ever need one. Merle Dixon did whatever the hell he wanted to do, no fucks given. I had admired that about him...hell I still admired that if I was honest.

I didn't even know why I had decided to come to this party. I didn't care for them, didn't really care for large groups and socializing. It wasn't my thing and never really had been. It was one of the reasons why he and I had gotten along so well together...our mutual dislike of people in general. I smirked into my empty glass, my distorted image reflected back at me from the bottom. It was empty...just like me. How ironic.

Even from this distance I could feel his eyes on me, the intensity of his gaze searing my skin like a hot iron. I couldn't meet his gaze though and I knew that I was being cowardly, but I just didn't care anymore. He wrote me out of his life five years ago without a word, but I was still weak when it came to him. I knew if he asked me to then I would forgive him and then I would just hate myself for it later. He was my kryptonite.

"Skylar? Is that you?" A tall guy with a mohawk was speaking to me and I glanced up at him, trying to focus.

"Yeah, who wants to know?" I snapped. He flinched slightly, but I just stared at him, waiting on him to speak and tell me who he was. I didn't recognize him, but I wasn't sure if that was due to my slightly intoxicated state or just because I simply didn't care.

"Tommy Lyle...we graduated together. Sat next to each other in Mrs. Strafford's English class," he explained.

I shrugged, "Oh yeah. How's it goin'?"

He began to chatter incessantly into my ear, but I tuned him out, my eyes searching for _him_ again. I didn't feel that same burning heat from before so I knew he must have gone. My suspicions were confirmed when a quick scan of the room proved him no where to be found. I glanced down at my empty glass and was suddenly overcome with the urgent need to flee.

"Excuse me," I muttered, interrupting Tommy mid-sentence. I barely spared him a glance as I pushed past him through the throng of people and into the kitchen where I deposited my glass into the sink. I stood there for several seconds, my hands braced against the edge as I fought down the waves of emotion that soared through me. I closed my eyes briefly, raising my head and drawing in a deep breath.

That was when I felt him and I knew without opening my eyes or turning around that he was there. I hated how my body instantly reacted to his familiar scent and the warmth that enveloped me. My body was a traitor. I opened my eyes and met his gaze in the window, his reflection showing that he was standing right behind me. My fingers tightened over the sink.

"What do you want?" I asked in a tight voice as I averted my hazel eyes from his own.

His body was so close that if I straightened my own then I would feel the brush of him against me. I felt him shift, his breath skimming over my neck where I had pulled my brown hair up into a ponytail to keep it from getting in the way.

"Sky..." No one had called me Sky since I had been a kid. His voice was low and gravelly, not how I remembered it, but still the same. He was older now so understandably his voice had changed over the years, growing deeper... _sexier._ I forced myself to remember that I hated him. I wanted to hurt him much like he had hurt me all those years ago.

"Say what you need to say and get the hell away from me," I muttered.

He stiffened and growled into my hair and I barely contained the shiver of pleasure that raced through me. "You weren't s'posed to be here," he said.

I scoffed, shifting suddenly so that I was facing him. "Oh really?" I crossed my arms defensively, my pissed off attitude roaring back to me. "I didn't know certain places were off limits," I snapped.

His eyes flashed dangerously and I smirked. I was pissing off the animal inside of him, making him rear his ugly head, but I didn't care. I craved that animal, mentally unleashing it from its cage to tease and taunt any way that I pleased. I waited for the cutting words to come as they had so many times before when we had run into one another.

"I fucked up," he said instead, shocking me. I searched his eyes looking for some sort of spark of sarcasm, something to indicate that he was just trying to fuck with me right now. He couldn't actually be trying to apologize, could he? If he thought that he was just going to approach me, tell me he fucked up, and everything be okay between us then he had another thing coming.

"Get away from me," I hissed, pushing on his chest to no avail. He was rock solid, something I tried hard not to think about when I touched him.

"We need to talk," His voice was rough, but commanding and I wanted to hurt him.

"Fuck you, Merle Dixon! Five years and you wanna talk _now_? You're nothing to me anymore," I slanted my eyes away from his own, scared that he might see what I was trying to hide.

He pressed closer to me, completely shielding me from everything around us. Out of the corner of my eye I saw someone enter the room and then leave instantly, their eyes wide.

"You don't mean that shit," he said in a low voice.

"Oh yes I do..." I met his gaze. " _Nothing_ ," I repeated coldly. "You're-"

His lips met mine with bruising strength, sucking the life right out of me. He took control of my mind and my body in that instant, swallowing up the small whimper of desire that burst from my lips. In all of my twenty-one years I had never been kissed like this before, _ever._ As much as I tried to fight it, the desire to have him close again, to touch him won out in the end and I surrendered my lips to his own, moving them pliantly beneath him. When he pulled away he was breathing hard, his eyes dark and needy.

Grabbing my hand he tugged me along behind him. Bypassing the people around us I let him lead me up the stairs and into a vacant bedroom, where he instantly slammed me against the door, his mouth attacking mine once more. We fought for dominance of the kiss while ripping at each other's clothing. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew I should have put up a fight, but this was Merle and deep down I knew that I loved him. I had always loved him. This might be all that we had and I wasn't going to turn it down. I had never known him like this, so intimate and so on fire.

He snapped the clasp on my bra and I gasped, the sound only spurring me on as I jerked his jeans down his legs, his hard cock springing up to greet me. Without a second thought I took him into my mouth, swallowing him deeply. He jerked against me as his fingers threaded through my hair, making me arch my neck and look at him as I sucked him off. I slowed my technique, swirling my tongue over the head and back again as saliva dripped down from the corners of my mouth. Just as quickly he jerked me off of him, hauling me to my feet where he boosted me up. His hands groped my naked ass and he swiped objects off of a dresser to sit me on top of it.

I tugged on his shirt and he hesitated for only a moment before allowing me to pull it off. I smiled at him and opened my legs in invitation.

"Fuck me Merle. Make me yours," I demanded.

His nostrils flared as he bent his mouth to my neck, sucking and marking my flesh for all the world to see. I belonged to Merle Dixon now and the thought turned me on so badly that I grabbed him, guiding his cock. I tugged him between my legs and he wasted no time in thrusting into me, the dresser thudding against the wall with his strength. I moaned at the way that he filled me so completely.

This was what I had been missing in my life. No one else had ever been able to fill this void that he had left. I didn't need sweet or cuddly, I needed Merle...my Merle. This was who we were - fire and ice. He touched and I melted. This was crossing some unseen line of our failed friendship and I didn't know what the future might bring, but I didn't care as long as I had this moment.

"Goddamn darlin'," Merle panted into my neck, his thumbs grazing my pert nipples.

I moaned and we locked eyes, both of us glazed over with passion and need. "Harder." My voice was firm and commanding and he smirked at me before complying. The wooden dresser beneath us rocked precariously and I vaguely wondered if it would withstand our animalistic sex. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him tightly against me, pressing my face into the curve of his shoulder. I inhaled his musky scent, motor oil and Old Spice. I smiled and bit him, clasping his skin beneath my flesh as I rocked into him. He hissed through his teeth.

"Bitch," he muttered, yanking my hair hard with his hand.

I laughed, a deep throaty chuckle that had his lips curving up in response. He pulled out of me suddenly, his cock dripping with the juices of our desire. Before I could protest he yanked me off of the dresser and turned me, his legs kicking my own apart before he thrust into me once more and we both moaned out loud at the fit.

Smacking me on the ass he gripped my hips roughly, slamming into me over and over again. I held onto the dresser and took everything that he had to give.

"This what'cha wanted? Wanted me to lose control?" He murmured in my ear as he slowed his strokes. "Or did you want it soft and slow like this?" His lips grazed the shell of my ear and I shivered.

He was changing the game and I wasn't sure that I liked it. Fucking me hard and fast didn't allow me much time to think about it, only to feel it, but this was different and he knew it. _Bastard_. This was too intimate, too personal and my eyes burned with unshed tears.

"Son of a bitch," I whispered brokenly.

"I want you to feel every inch of my dick in you and know that I was here." He reached around me to stroke one finger across my slit and I trembled.

"Don't do this to me Merle," I pleaded with him.

"Oh darlin', this has been a long time comin'."

I squeezed my eyes shut, his words washing over me. He was making me feel, pulling me back into him and I didn't know if I could stand it.

"I was an asshole for pullin' away, but I'm gonna make it up to ya...startin' now." He punctuated his words with a hard thrust and I moaned as my orgasm rocked through me, my whole body reeling as I convulsed around him. He buried his face into the back of my neck and tightened his hold on me, grunting as he came apart inside of me, filling me to completion.

We slid to the floor in a tangle of arms and limbs and I swiped at several strands of my hair that had come loose. There was nothing separating us this time, no buffer to keep us from remembering. I hated it and I didn't want him to see me raw and bleeding. But when I reached for my clothing, his hand on my wrist stopped me and I had no choice but to meet his gaze.

"Sky," he whispered my name so softly that for a second I thought I had imagined it as his thumb brushed over my pulse.

"Don't." I worked hard to keep my voice from cracking.

"I fucked up," he said and instantly my eyes snapped to his. "I shoulda been there for you, but I had...shit," he inhaled deeply and I frowned in concern. For something to affect Merle so completely then I knew it must be serious, but still he had hurt me and the would was still very much fresh even now.

"When I needed you, you weren't there," I whispered. "You promised to always look after me."

He grasped my chin with two fingers and held it firmly, holding my gaze to his own. "I know."

"That's _it_?" I smacked his hand away and backed away from him. That was the best that he could do?

He climbed to his feet and stepped towards me, but I held up my hand to stop him. "No! You don't get to do that! You don't get to just come back into my life and...and..." _And give me the best sex I had ever had._ I growled in frustration at my own thoughts.

"You think this is all about you?" He snapped suddenly. "I had a lotta shit on me darlin'. I've done lotsa things wrong, but I'm tryin' like hell to make it right."

I stared at him, dumbfounded by his statement. He turned and snatched up his jeans, ignoring me.

That's when I saw them.

My eyes grew wide and he turned back to me as a small sound escaped my throat. I scrambled to my feet and looked at his back once more, my eyes taking in the scars that lined his perfect skin...the scars that hadn't been there five years ago. I traced the tip of my finger over the most prominent one, an angry line that stretched the length of his back. His muscles twitched but he didn't pull away. Moving back in front of him, he wouldn't meet my gaze, his jaw clenched firmly.

"Did he do this to you?" I whispered angrily.

I remembered his father had been an alcoholic and an angry one at that, but I had never dreamed that he would do something this drastic. a horrifying thought crossed my mind.

"Daryl?" I asked, my breath catching in worry over his younger brother.

Merle swallowed, his eyes turning to stone. "He's fine. Sent him to live with our grandfather. I took the brunt," he explained.

I cupped his cheeks between my cool trembling hands and stared at his face. "You should have told me," I whispered.

He shook his head, "It don't matter. It's over," he said coldly.

"No," I shook my head. "No, it's not. We both screwed up," I said and grabbed his hand impulsively. "But...but maybe we can fix it."

He cast a hopeful glance in my direction. "Tell me what to do."

I swallowed, "For starters, don't shut me out. It makes you look like an asshole."

He smiled softly at my attempt at humor. He trailed one finger down my cheek gently. "You always were the sweet one," he murmured. "I wanted to protect you."

I shook my head sadly, "You forgot to protect yourself in the process."

His eyes were haunting as they stared into mine, "No, I didn't forget," he replied. "I took those hits outta guilt over you an' my brother. In the end, he got what was comin' to him."

My gut clenched, "What did you do?" I whispered.

He didn't respond, but I knew without his words that something drastic had happened. I didn't blame him though, but I felt sad that he had suffered so on his own. We might still have had issues between us that needed to be worked out, but I felt confident that with time we could work through those. First, I needed him to understand something, something that I should have said a long time ago, but my courage had failed me.

"I love you, Merle."

His eyes widened and I knew I had hit home when he closed them and swallowed deeply, crushing me to his chest. "You're mine," he replied possessively.

I knew without him saying that this was his way of saying he loved me. I accepted his reply for now, but I was determined to get him to say it soon. My heart had always belonged to him even if I hadn't know it at the time and I knew deep down that it always would. It might have been five years, but to us it seemed like yesterday and together we would get through tomorrow.


End file.
